live and learn and be strong

I was one week before my 21st birthday I became pregnant..I was 6 weeks and 4 days when I found out for sure…all through my pregnancy I had a lot of pains..I found out by 18 weeks I was having a girl…but still I was an high risk pregnancy..I was so scared my first time being pregnant and also one year since into my first relationship..he never had kids neither did I so we start our own family..on march 26,2009 we welcome into the world of our daughter..

One week being home from the hospital we started noticing problems with our daughter she wouldn’t eat also when we layed her down she would cry none stop..finally her daughter ship us to our local hospital..3 days later we had to ship off to a bigger and better hospital..as our family helped us and was there…the bottom of my gut was telling me something bad is goin down…

As my gut was right..my daughter was hooked up on breathing tubes and been poke so much to take blood..

We found out that she need a heart transplant and I knew right then and there..my daughter would not be comin home.. they began to hook her up to a life support machine also they found out the heart transplant didn’t work something bigger has happen in the problem

After a month staying at the bigger and better hospital my daughter died in our arms on may 11,2009 on mothers day..

I had a melt down that know one ever thought it was possible..after we got the report back we found out when I was giving birth she had a stroke when she was coming out..and she was born with an enlarge heart little did me and her dad know we also learn after buried her 6 weeks old..when she died we found out that her enlarge heart compressed againist her lung that’s why they heart transplant didn’t work because her lung was also damage..

Loosing a child is like dying your self..I never turn to drugs but I did come closer to my family…I walked every day and pickin up the pieces of my life..

After two years later I was still with the man I fell deeply in love with and started a family with even though we had to buried our first..two years later I got pregnant with my second child.we found out we was having a boy this time..even though we had high percent of buried another child.. I wanted to be a mother again…

May 25,2011 I gave birth to our son…he is my mircle baby nutting health wise was passed down he was healthy…

I been with the love of my life going on 7 years now..our daughter has angel wings and no more pain goin on 5 years now and our son is goin on 3 years old and also gonna start preschool…

I gained a lot in the last 7 years of my life..I have loved and lost and also been through the gates of hell every which way..but my son saved me in so many ways..I thank god everyday that he is alive healthy and my baby…